DurAnorak (duranorak) wrote,

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Not the place for this.

I feel awfully 'He Wishes For The Cloths Of Heaven' at the moment, but since you all know that one backwards, quoting it would be somewhat redundant. I was so bouncy yesterday; where did it all go? Where *does* it go, when I'm not using it? You have to wonder.

I'm scared about the weekend, that I'll get there and find out that I don't know how to roleplay a girl (have you *any* idea how long it's been?) or that I'll fall apart or whatever. And yesterday was fun, but some of it was fun because I was ignoring how much it hurt. And, god, I should be in college today and I'm not. And my parents are going to have seven kinds of fits when they find out how much it's all fallen to pieces. And *argh*. And stuff.

And I know it sounds like I'm sixteen and I'm sorry for that, and last night I apologised for the picture I must be painting of myself as madder than a huge barrel of fish in little party hats, but...things are hard. Right now. They're not as hard as they were toward the end of last year, but in a way that makes them more difficult to deal with because I've got the space to think about what a mess everything is rather than just, y'know, focusing on getting through the next hour.

And I know I shouldn't be throwing all this at you lovely people, either. It's just that I have to say *something*.
Even if I can't say everything.

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