DurAnorak (duranorak) wrote,
DurAnorak
duranorak

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Whining, followed by boys in makeup.

So, yeah. Depressed again. Not as in just a little down, obviously, otherwise I'd just whine briefly and put on some shiny music and be fine again. I spent most of yesterday in bed, partly due to being ill but mostly due to a literal inability to move because of that leaden thing that depression does to my limbs (and those of many other people, obviously) where it's harder to move than to do anything else at all.
What about those happy drugs, then? Well, who knows. They seem to be doing their job most of the time, which is nice, but, I don't know, maybe they need a break. ~s~ I'm tired. I'm worried about tonight because I feel like I'm going to have to be in a place I don't know how to get to (mentally, I mean - I can find my way to Streatham ok) and I'm worried about tomorrow because the girl I'm supposed to be seeing called early last night while I was in the middle of juggling pasta and things (no, not literally. You know what I mean) and then didn't call back. I don't even want to go into the situation with college, it makes me reach for the sharp things. It's. All. Bad.
All I want is to spend a day watching silly DVDs with someone and being cuddled, at the moment. And being made tea. And stuff. I'm vaguely thinking about just launching myself on an unsuspecting Cambridge because up there, responsibility is something that happens to other people. But that's precisely why I can't go up there.
I sulk.

Anyway, all that aside, look! My dear friend Shay found me this! It's full of stars! ~grin~
(Originally it was because she wanted me to see this photo, which I think possibly communicates insanity and fragility better than any photograph I've ever seen. I blame the drugs.)

E.
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