DurAnorak (duranorak) wrote,
DurAnorak
duranorak

Oh, this sucks.

"Mum, please don't let's talk about anything stressful tonight. Please let's just watch University Challenge and sit doing embroidery and stuff."
"I can't see a problem with that."

Except now she's here. And her first words to me were "Gosh, you've put on weight again, and you look so ugly in that shirt." And then she started in on my nan - it's her birthday on Wednesday. And the conversation just hit the point where she says "You don't ever think about any of your family, ever, you're so selfish. I don't think you love any of us at all. I don't think you know what loving someone is - you have your awful friends, and you claim to love them, but knowing how selfish you are, I'm sure you don't care about anyone but yourself really." At which point I said I couldn't stay in the conversation and she said something like "Walking away because you know I'm right won't help, you know" and if I'd tried to argue all that would have come out of my mouth would have been screaming. I know one's parents do this kind of thing but I begged her, I begged her not to and I told her how bad things are and she said she wouldn't. And now things are worse. And I can't do anything and, and, argh.

Edit : Don't worry, though - I'll be ok. And she's agreed to try again, which is nice of her. And stuff. ~sigh~ It's not easy, but she's only here for the one night. I'll be fine.

E.
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